Sometimes, many people can’t find enough time to read the whole book. And many people find it hard to choose a good book to read. In these cases, book-summaries and reviews are the quick ways to get an idea about the book. Mark Manson’s The subtle Art of Not Giving A Fck has changed the perspective of the self-help book. No honey talking, no flashy language like other self-help books. The book has gone straight to the point on how to deal with the problems. While writing the book summary of The subtle art of not giving a fck I realized how could have I dealt with the problems in different ways so that they wouldn’t have affected me much. This is the book which every youngster must-read. Because many of us are dealing with many problems at a time have no idea which problem to give more importance to and which one to avoid. This book will give an idea to which we should give a fuck and to which not. Before trying a book, I would suggest you go through the summary to get an overview of the book.
Chapter 1 – DON’T TRY
Don’t care and give too much importance to everything in your life and things going around you. The key to a good life is giving importance to fewer things that really meant something and matters in your life, which hold true values.
Take inventory of yourself. Know where you lack in. Know where you are good or worse at. Accept your flaws positively. Don’t feel ashamed of them or be anxious about them. Be comfortable with them and slowly improve them.
Don’t try too hard unnecessarily to achieve something. It will only stress you out and drain your energy. Don’t hurt yourself in the process. Be gentle. Keep working and in the end, you will get it.
Find something valuable and meaningful in your life to give importance to. Focus your energy there. Else your mind will go to meaningless and frivolous causes and will mess your head. Be selective while choosing the things to give value to.
Get this straight in your mind, it’s perfectly all right to suck at something. You can’t be the best and perfect at everything.
Chapter 2 – HAPPINESS IS PROBLEM
If you think you can achieve something without facing the problems or without meeting some kind of crisis or failure or defeat, then you must be daydreaming. Having problems, dissatisfaction and insecurities is not a problem because it’s them having mildly and in a controlled manner is going to help the most work to innovate and survive.
Expecting happiness without confronting failure and defeat is pointless. The only difference between the successful and failure is that successful people have faced and solved more problems than failures. Happiness comes only after solving the problems. Problems will be part of life even after achieving success, they just get improved and so are you. Problems don’t get less, you get better at solving them.
Don’t try to avoid problems as they have a tendency not to leave. They exist forever. Avoiding them temporarily might give you a high for short period. They are the way to temporarily escape our problems and can make us feel better for a while. But they bounce back with the worst outcome. Don’t ask a problem-free life, rather ask for a life full of good problems like rich people have, not the problems poor people have.
The problems call to take action. To change the current situation we are in not feeling good about.
Happiness can be earned only through solving problems. To find the solution to your problems you must first accept them and get engaged actively to find the way to solve them.
What you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for. What determines your success isn’t what you want but what you want to sustain.
Fall in love with the process. So what if it’s troubling you for a while.
Chapter 3 – YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL
Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean how good or positive you feel about yourself. it actually means that how positively you see the negative aspects of your life and do something about them. That’s a true measurement of self-worth.
By successfully using positive mind techniques some people made assumptions that they are happy and positive, but when asking them why; they have no answer. Due to that odd positivity which they get from the law of attraction techniques, they feel that they are exceptional and deserve to be happy, and deserve to have all the good things. Such entitled people exude a delusional degree of self-confidence that they deserve to have the riches, people ought to like them. Because they think they are performing well and succeeding, but in reality, they are not.
Entitlement is nothing but another high like drugs and alcohol which gives people high. They get a high of feeling good and positive about themself that they block the way of all kinds of negativities which try to break their shield of positivity. Even if someone is trying to make them realize their true condition. Such entitled people avoid being around truth-speaking people.
Today is the best time in history to be alive because we have been granted so many facilities and advancements. One of them is the internet. But it has some side effects too. It shows how people have become rich and successful overnight. By seeing such examples people thinks that being extraordinary is cool and they too tend to be like one.
Chapter 4 – THE VALUES OF SUFFERING
If the problems and suffering which comes along with it are inevitable, unavoidable and there is nothing we can do but to face them one on one then the question we must ask ourselves must be what is there on earth we would gladly suffer for? We must choose a goal that is really going to make some positive difference and going to have a positive impact in our life along with the people around us. While choosing a goal, we must take inventory of ourselves that what do we really want from life? and is it really going to make us happy. Because eternal happiness is what everyone really seeks Do not suffer aimlessly. There is no point in suffering if it’s not going to make you happy in end.
Chapter 5 – YOU ARE ALWAYS CHOOSING
We always have choices to choose from to react to the situations that we have been put through. No matter whether they are drawn upon us forcefully by someone else or we are directly responsible for it.
Options of taking complete responsibility on our shoulders of whatever happening in our life we are the sole responsible for it and do something about it or pass this responsibility off on someone else’s head, blame them for our problems and be in misery. Someone may be having faults for our suffering but we ourselves and only responsible for the reaction we give to them.
Play a victim chick role, blame your abusive husband or father, cheater boyfriend, not so good childhood, hold them responsible for the sufferings, misery that you are going through. Or be like OPRA VINFREY or ELON MUSK and other people who took responsibility for their life and became successful.
No doubt some people have gone through worst problems than others, which was drawn upon them by circumstances, but the way they react to them; only they are responsible for it.
Change the way you react to the particular events and you might change the outcome or at least the intensity of the outcome. No one is saying it will be easy but once you get to do it effectively the end result would be worth it.
These are the things which I got from the book. You might get something else which I like to hear about from you. If you liked this summary then you must read the book and follow Mark Manson for his amazing tips.